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"When it comes to the condom, it’ll always be a friend you can depend on."

"For it to be effective, you’ve got to have some serious skill."

“It’s sort of like one of those jelly bracelets from the 80s.”

Birth control that goes inside the uterus? It’s pretty damn sweet.

“Poof. It's like magic. Well I don't like magic. It's weird.”

“So if she just started taking it, try to cool your jets ‘til it kicks in."