The Pill

When you hear the words birth control, you probably think of the pill, and when you think of the pill, you probably think about sex, and when you think about sex, you probably think where, and how can I get me some of this sex? First off, how much do you really even know about this magic pill that lets you have sex without making babies? Now there are a ton of different kinds of birth control pills out there, but they all pretty much kind of work in the same way: by releasing synthetic hormones, man-made versions of hormones that a woman's body already makes naturally. F*cking science right? The hormones in the pill send a signal to the woman's ovaries telling them not to release any eggs, while simultaneously thickening the mucus down there so if there were an egg, the sperm can't get through the woman's cervix to look for it. Hey, A for effort sperm. In order for this to work your ladies needs to take the pill around the same time. Every. Single. Day. If she does... And the next thing you know you're out shopping for strollers and breast pumps, and this ain't a pop and go situation either, the pill can take up to seven days to start working. So if she just started taking it, try to cool your jets till it kicks in, and remember the pill doesn't do jack to protect you from STDs. So until those lab coat wizards figure that one out, don't go tossing out your condom drawer just yet. And hey, taking the pill every day can be kind of a pain, so until they come up with the pill for us, offering to help her with the costs or remembering to take it, could be very beneficial to your non-parental status. Just a quick snack before dinner.